In our previous article, we talked about on love language ideas involving words. There is another important love language that people crave, and it is Quality Time.
Have you ever spent all day in a house with someone and the person still claim they didn’t get to spend time with you? That’s because this love language is not about proximity.
In a fast-paced, technologically advanced world like we have today, most couples have fallen into the trap of being together but glued to social media or the TV screen. When a couple shares the same space with a divided attention, they are ultimately not connecting.
Quality Time in layman’s terms means undivided attention, and there are many dialects of this love language. Here are some love language ideas on how to enjoy quality time with your spouse:
Togetherness is being with each other with focused attention. It has to be created deliberately, hence the term time-out.
- If you feel neglected, just ask your spouse to make out time for you.
- Get someone to watch the kids for you once in a while so you and your spouse can go out together and spend time in each other’s company.
- Set aside a particular time of the day or amount of time daily that you will spend having a quality conversation or simply gazing into each other’s eyes.
Having quality conversation
A conversation is usually a dialogue between two people; it involves talking and listening. To ensure your discussions are productive and meaningful,
- Don’t interrupt when your spouse is communicating feelings, thoughts, and desires. Don’t listen to respond but to understand.
- If you have to speak afterward, make sure your words are sympathetic.
- Don’t be quick to give unsolicited advice. Sometimes all your spouse wants from you is support and understanding.
- Proffer practical solutions if asked to.
- Learn to listen beyond what they are saying to how they feel about what they say. Read your partner’s body language. Ask for clarity, if you get confused about what they are saying, to ensure you understand what they want you to hear correctly.
- If your spouse shares only what they think, encourage them to share how it made them feel. Our feelings are a product of our thoughts which affects our actions. Always push for the sharing of thoughts and emotions because it gives a sense of open honesty that deepens intimacy.
Doing quality activities together
The key here is to do something with your spouse that they enjoy doing and do it wholeheartedly. The activity is secondary, what’s important is being emotionally attentive to each other during the activity. Here are a few:
- Go out together, to places that they love.
- If your spouse spends a lot of time with the kids, do the same. Talk to the kids about their experience, include them in family outings, create time to spend with them.
- When you love what your spouse loves, participating in it becomes a breeze.
- When walking together, try to walk side by side and talk. Make sure you are enjoying each other’s company.