Who doesn’t like a freebie? Giving gifts is at the very heart of love. But for some people, receiving and giving gifts is the best way they show just how genuinely they love their partners; that is why it is a love language.
Gifts are a symbol of love and visual expression of a loving thought. They show that the giver was thinking about the receiver. If ‘gifts’ is your spouse’s primary love language, translate, ‘you were on my mind’ into action by securing a present and giving it to them. It doesn’t have to be expensive; what matters is the thought behind it.
But that doesn’t mean the gift has to be reduced quality or beneath your financial capability. Imagine a millionaire giving a hundred naira gifts on a regular basis. When the item you give is significantly out of line with what you can afford, the motive becomes suspect.
How can you tell if gifts are your spouse’s love language?
- Watch your spouse’s attitude/philosophy about gifts. Usually, they will place a high value on giving and receiving gifts or freak out when it gets misplaced. But if they rarely value gifts, then it is not their love language.
- When your spouse has been greatly moved emotionally by gifts, they have received in the past. Someone who loves gifts will usually make references to gifts that touched their hearts on occasion. But if your spouse is overly critical of the gifts received in the past and no item/gesture received seems acceptable, then this is not their love language.
How do you communicate love to a spouse whose love language is Receiving Gifts?
- Purchase, find or make your gift. If you intend to give a freebie, let the effort you put into getting it be noteworthy. You can learn a craft/vocation and use the knowledge to make something your spouse will appreciate. E.g. Make a special card with or find a broken item your spouse loves and have it fixed and re-gift it to them.
- Make a list of the things your spouse likes. Watch how they respond when they hear of a gift a friend or family receives. Take note of how they react to the gifts people give you guys or her gift suggestions when buying things for others. Get a journal, call it a gifts idea book and write down when they show excitement about something they would like to receive as a gift. If buying gifts is not your thing, get someone who knows what your spouse loves to help out.
- Don’t wait for a special occasion to give a gift. You can give them every day for a week or once a week or once a month. Just make sure you get things that you are comfortable buying, creating or finding and give it to them. You can even give it three times in one day and tell them you just want to fill up their love tank. If receiving gifts is their love language, anything you give will be appreciated even if it is only 200 naira Suya.
- Make your presence the gift you give your spouse at any significant event in their life. In times of crisis, this is usually the best gift you can give, the gift of your time and presence; especially if they specifically ask for it. This is not the same as Quality Time because you are not required to speak or do anything in particular. Sometimes being physically available might be a significant sacrifice on your part but do it anyway. It is an action that will strengthen your commitment to your spouse especially in a time of emotional crisis.
Invest in your spouse. When you spend money on presents for your spouse, you are investing in their love tank. It could be educational like a self-help book or any book whose theme your spouse loves or even a paid course/seminar for them to attend or fun like tickets to a concert, cinema, etc. Most of all, understand that investing in buying any gift for your spouse is an emotional investment with guaranteed reciprocal rewards.