A few days ago, I stumbled on a tweet that read: “Women-only” events need to stop in 2020! They are counterproductive.
As an organizer of events targeted at women in Nigeria, the tweet made me pause. On the 7th of December, we put together a Vision Board Party for women in our community. When I saw that tweet, I thought about all the hours we’d put into planning the event. I thought about all the pre-work we did and then all the effort we expended on the day itself. And even though I had all the feedback from the participants, I wondered if perhaps it was not counter-productive as the tweeter pointed out.
They have become echo chambers where women reinforce barriers that they themselves don’t face…
I thought of all the women who shared their real and personal experiences at the event. Of S. who told us how her fear & imposter syndrome drives her to deliver at 120%. I thought of our facilitator Ozoz, sharing her experience at a Women (only!) Career Development Programme and how it taught her to empathise more. We spoke of comparison and competition, the differences and when to use each. (Compare yourself only with who you were in the past, compete in a healthy manner and be gracious if you win or lose). Almost everyone who attended left with new knowledge and gingered to make her 2020 truly special.
There’s usually no diversity of mentors; you have women who have been known to play it safe and not think big telling others to do the same
I get the tweeter’s frustration at this point, I really do. I sense her frustration at signing up for events, hoping for inspiration or education, and coming away with nothing but a warm fuzzy feeling that soon fades. She could do with an invitation to any one of our sessions; they’d have provided a nice juxtapose to some of the other events she seems to have been attending. We invite well-respected women to speak with us at our Icon Brunches; they have been nothing but helpful. They’ve shared their networks with us, mentored us and been nothing but truly authentic in sharing how they’ve grown and progressed. 100% realism, 0% BS.
When I first read the tweet, I worried that we were perhaps doing more harm than good with our events. But when I reflect on the impact we’ve had, and the progress each woman in our community has made since coming into contact with us, I know we’re on the right path. Is this journey a perfect one? No. But are we doing more good than not? We are.
If you’re in Lagos in January, you should totally come to our next Icon Brunch. Book your place here.
