When I was in university, a lot of people just assumed I went to Queen’s College. It’s interesting because I was supposed to go there but for a series of reasons, I didn’t. I had a ton of friends who did, though. As did my cousin, who people swear is my doppelgänger. Anyways, even though I went to Command Ikeja (the best school for a tomboy like me; any army kids in the building? *little wave*) I’ve always considered myself a QC proxy alumni. And every time I meet someone new who went to QC, I tell myself, “Maybe she would’ve been in my class if I’d gone.” I think Tracy and I would’ve been friends. Gut feeling. Lol. Thank God for social media bringing us all together.
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My name is Tracy Oyekanmi. I live in Philadelphia and Vancouver, and work as a Communications specialist. I just made a mid-level career transition from Public Relations & Corporate Communications (last 10 years) to Academia. I am in a graduate program in Strategic Communications and I was a research assistant in the US till December last year when I took a maternity break. I am also an Integrated Communications tutor to Nigerian professionals seeking a UK certification and finally, I am a communications trainer and consultant for companies and individuals. I know that’s a lot, but that has been my work life in the last two years! I have one child (Bernard), a lovely 3-month old boy who is already teething! I went to Queen’s College, Yaba for high school and Unilag for my undergrad and I’ve known my husband since forever. We were friends for twelve years, dated for six years, engaged for 1 year and we’ve been married for four years. Lol! I’m on social media as @tracyoyekanmi and @dcommunicatorng.
Why did you choose to be a working mother? What’s your biggest concern about working and raising children?
Being a working mother choose me because that’s all I saw my mother do. Work and raise me. She made it look so effortless. Whew. My biggest concern is seizing every moment as it comes. What do you do when you are there? Do you spend the little time you have always shouting, or use it as a learning moment for both your child and you? I’ve just begun my motherhood journey but I’m talking based on my experience as a Sunday school teacher for eight years and what a lot of children remember about their mothers.
If you didn’t have to work (say, you suddenly won the lottery for a million dollars) would you prefer to stay at home with your kids?
I transitioned to working from anywhere before I had my baby, so I would still work from home or better still, a resort on some island.
Work-life balance or work-life integration? Which do you prefer and why? Would you say your work & life is balanced or integrated? Why?
I believe there is no work-life balance, I believe in work-life integration because even when you are working, life still happens, So many things pull for your attention, so you have to decide which one to feed or starve of time. Technology has restructured our work lifestyle – we get push notifications, calendar syncing and emails on the go – so you need a way to integrate it all into your family dynamic so you don’t drown trying to balance everything.
What tactics or strategies help you balance the priorities of family life and work?
My husband is the genius strategist! When I had all this work going on and still had to work on my studies, he created an Excel sheet for me on all my activities, including free time slots for me and our family time. We’ve had this sheet since 2017 and we still update it. At first it seemed cheesy, but we try to follow through on most days by working as a team. Over here, human capital comes at a high price, so you do most of your stuff yourself, when one person is tired, the other person picks up the reins. If he wakes up early on some days, he makes breakfast, on some days I do. He rocks the baby and I sleep, or I rock the baby, he does the laundry. Teamwork.
To put things in perspective, even when we lived in Nigeria, we still utilized teamwork and extended family system. Sundays were for visiting both mothers (our fathers are late) and sending out his work report while I read. When I worked at a start-up and had crazy hours, I would meal prep and label all the meals. We also had strict rules of no business calls after 10 pm except in an emergency and the rule applied to both of us. Instead, we spend that time talking and bonding after the crazy traffic. Family is a priority for him, and the balance is for both of us not just me.
My mother never told me that…
She told me everything! My mum is my bestie. In fact, it was because of our past discussions about delivery and nursing that mentally prepared me and helped me demand certain care during my delivery based on our similar medical history.
When you travel for work, how do you manage your son?
Well, for now we go together. As you read this, we are probably airborne to Philly from Vancouver to resume my graduate studies and work.
How does being a parent influence your work? How does your work influence your parenting?
A lot! There are times when I have some energy left after nursing the baby and I need to decide if I want to work or sleep. Bear in mind that I am working with different time zones. (Philly is six hours behind Lagos while Vancouver is nine hours behind) Sometimes I rock him to sleep even when he doesn’t feel sleepy so I can lay him down and then sneak in some work time!
What’s your mommy super power?
I can form songs with all my son’s names at the snap of a finger. Luckily, he loves all of them. I have a full album already. For real, like 13 singles. Different types.
What’s the worst career advice you ever received? What’s the best career advice you ever got?
The worst one was when a colleague commended my work and almost immediately trashed it saying, “You married women that work late, I don’t see why you need to work this hard!” Duh! As if marriage was my ticket to luxury.
The best one was to be an intrapreneur. I study the business side of any company I work with (their numbers, investment outlook each year, projections e.t.c) even when I don’t have to and it’s not my job description. This helps me stand out. I understand what the company’s leadership desires and I always place myself to win – promotions, opportunities to work with exclusive clients and projects that my peers are not privy to.
What’s your favorite thing in your wardrobe?
A black blazer. The fit is everything. Once I wear it over anything, it gives a fresh corporate look.
What (apart from your field) are you obsessed with?
Teaching workplace communication. Helping new and aspiring managers and team leaders rock their role by communicating better. Whether it is sending the right email, bonding with team members while ensuring everyone brings their A game. I know it’s my field 😉 but I’m really passionate about it, and that’s why I am going to do more of it this year.
What are you most terrible at?
Swimming and finding my balance on a bicycle!
I think learning to riding a bicycle is one of those things best done as a kid when the excitement far outweighs the pain and fear of falling ? Lol. Hope you enjoyed this feature, too. If you missed the last one, catch up here: Eno Quagraine
