“Work Life Balance Is A Myth” – Maryam Ahmed

I’m Maryam, a working mother in Abuja. I work with GTBank Plc as a relationship manager in the Public-Sector Group. I have two children, Habiba and Rayyan aged 2 years and 9 months respectively. I went to Ahmadu Bello University, Zaria where I met my husband. We dated for 8 years before we eventually got married 4 years ago. Fun Fact: My wedding anniversary and work anniversary are on the same day! What a coincidence!

Lol! That’s interesting. You could say it was fate. Is that how banking feels? Like it’s something you were fated to do?

Working in the banking industry has been exciting, I’ve always loved the corporate life and being a Chartered Accountant and then getting an MSc. in Finance helped give me the tools for the job. 

Sounds like you’re enjoying it. And how is being a working mother so far?

I’ve been a working mom for over 2 years now and my biggest concern has to be not being part of their lives, all the time. I always want to be there for all the firsts but being away means that I miss some of those moments. So when I am with them, I try to record and enjoy all the memories. 

It can be hard sometimes, missing those firsts. If you didn’t have to work, what would change?

If I didn’t have to work, I would prefer to be home with my kids. Who doesn’t love the idea of being a rich housewife! But to be honest, working gives me a feeling of purpose, it empowers me. That adrenaline rush when you wake up at 6:00am knowing you have barely 1 hour 30 minutes to get yourself and your kids ready and drive down to the office because you have a work meeting at 7:30 am, it makes me feel like a super hero every day! Especially when I now squash those office goals!

You go, girl! How were the first few weeks back at work after maternity leave?

Resuming work after maternity leave just made me extra responsible. Although I had my mum and a nanny stay with the kids for the first few months, I called every few hours to ensure the kids were ok. My first child had to start creche at 9 months because I had a nasty incidence with the nanny and my mum had to leave. I cried at first, but luckily, I was able to find a creche near my office that was perfect. My second baby also started creche at 9 months because I loved the impact of Montessori learning on his sister’s growth and development. 

Proper Montessori schools really do a great job with kids, don’t they? Especially with setting routines. Speaking of routines, what’s yours like as a working mother?

On a typical day, I wake up at 5:15 am, say my morning prayers have some tea (I love tea!) and get ready for work. I wake the kids at about 6:30am and while the nanny gets the older one ready, I prep the younger one. We’re all ready by 7.00am and then we hit the road. At work, I give it my all till 5:30pm when I make a hard stop to go pick up the kids. We are usually home by 6:45pm. Then again, it’s bath time and then dinner. Sometimes I prepare dinner, sometimes the house keeper does. 

My weekends are filled with meal prep, getting organised and planning. We also try to engage the kids in a lot of family bonding activities; camping, picnics, swimming etc.

Sounds like you have your work-life balance figured out.

I believe work life balance is a myth, I prefer to think of it as work life integration. Considering that I spend 8am to 5pm at work, more of my life is at work, so work is life and life is work! I think it’s key to ensure that you have the requisite support to balance. For me it’s my husband and my family – particularly my mum – it really does take a village. Any support system you get, is welcome, because I honestly do not feel motherhood is a journey to take on alone.

My job is so real; it’s hard for it to be friendly to working moms. Sometimes you get an impromptu request to travel and you don’t want to give the excuse ” But I am a nursing mum”. If you want to grow your career in banking, you have to make arrangements that ensure you get the job done well. Again, it boils down to the support system you have in place.

Hear, hear! Do you ever feel working mother guilt?

Mom guilt is very normal, isn’t it? But I try to make sure that the moments I am available, more than make up for when I am not. If it’s reading bed time stories: I am so extra! I dramatize and play and ensure we all have a good laugh.

Haha! What else?

My mummy super power has to be multitasking! Like I can drive, sing to my babies and dance to “Baby Shark”, and feed them. At the same time!

Okay, then! How have these parenting skills helped you at work?

As a parent, I understand my clients better. I also manage my time better; I do not waste time. And I am more responsive to situations.

What else would you tell a younger woman coming into banking?

You need the 3 Hs – Hustle, Hunger, Hard work.

Aha! Hard work! So after all the hard work. How do you unwind? What’s your favorite thing in your wardrobe?

My favourite thing in my wardrobe is my pyjamas, I am such a freak for lounge wear. I love to relax maybe because I am always on the go and dressed up. 

I am also obsessed with food and cooking it has always been a part of me, creating meals, experimenting and creating long lasting tasteful memories for every one that meets me. At the office, I am nicknamed “Minister for Happiness” because I always bring it in the form of food!

I think we all agree that Food and Happiness are basically the same thing. So… Banker. Mommy. Foodie. What’s the one thing you absolutely suck at?

I am terrible at running. I don’t know what the deal is with my legs particularly my knees.