1. Diapers are interchangeable.
First time around, I was inundated with horror stories of how the wrong diaper would lead to diaper rash, raw peeling skin and a super cranky baby. I was so terrified that every time my relatives abroad asked me what I’d like, I’d always reply, “Diapers!” They would buy the diapers and then we’d start figuring out how to get the diapers over. Can this cousin bring it in his luggage? Should we pay for shipping? I combed Lagos Island market looking for wholesale bargains on imported diapers. I wasted so much energy on what was essentially disposable underwear.
And then my son started crèche and the administrator mentioned offhandedly that they changed diapers for all the babies every two hours. A lightbulb went off in my head. One, they were under-utilizing the diapers. Two, if a diaper is changed that often, there’s no way it’ll get wet enough to irritate baby’s skin. I also learned that diaper technology (even in Nigeria) has come a long way. As long as the diaper is the right size, strapped on correctly and changed often enough, there will be no rash, no chafing, and only the occasional blow-out. Second time around, I’m using the cheapest Nigerian diapers I find on the shop shelves and saving my relatives’ offers of help for things that actually matter. 5 months down, and I’ve had no problems. 🙂
2. Milk supply isn’t as temperamental as I thought.
From reading Kellymom.com and LLLI websites, you’d think that missing one feeding or pumping session would lead to an instant drop in milk supply. It used to make me so anxious. I carried my pump everywhere. Even though I would have benefited more from putting my son on a schedule, I fed him on demand and it was so exhausting (and let’s not forget sore boobs!). This time around, I have an emergency can of formula in my pantry if things don’t work out. I’m pumping less that I did with my first. Interestingly, things are easier. I don’t feel stressed when I miss pumping sessions.
3. Baby Items Labelled By Age are a scam.
You know when the clothing label says “6 months” and then you keep it, waiting patiently for 6 months to come only to find that baby can only wear the outfit for one week! Never again. I fell for that scam so many times, that now I’ve learned to ignore the age labels. Same for toys and even bottle nipples. I found that my baby got frustrated/impatient with slow-flowing nipples. Funny enough, the same thing happened with his brother but I didn’t recognize what the problem was. I just thought, “My son doesn’t like bottles.” This time, I’ve changed the nipples on all his bottles to fast-flowing to mimic my own fast let-down. The difference is clear. He’s happier when being bottle-fed and he drinks more milk. This might not work for everyone, but it’s something to consider if you have a fussy bottle feeder.
4.. Sleep training is actually possible.
Yes! And the earlier you start, the better. No, it doesn’t mean leaving baby to cry it out from 2 weeks old. But it requires consistency and discipline. The discipline to set baby’s bedtime. The discipline to form the right sleep associations (e.g. sleeping with white noise) and break the wrong ones (e.g. nursing on the boob till sleep comes). Yes, there will be regression but all in all, it can be managed.
5. NB Clothes are a waste of money.
We wore NB for exactly 3 weeks. We wore 0-3 months for exactly one month. I’m thankful I didn’t buy brand new clothing in those sizes for my 2nd child (but I was gifted a number!). The thing is most babies go through multiple growth spurts in the first 3 months of life. As baby gets older, he’ll spend more and more time at a particular age, so it makes sense to buy way more 1-year-old sized clothing, than 6-month clothing.
6. Babies don’t need that many clothes.
While we’re on this topic, how much clothing does a Nigerian baby need? We’re lucky to have warm weather and so we don’t need to put baby in layers. Someone pointed out that dressing babies up is more for the mother’s pleasure than for the baby and we know this is true 🙂 So how much clothing does baby need? Honestly, not a lot. If he’s going to wear clothes at a particular size for roughly 3 months max, does he really need 30 outfits? Right now, we’re running through the same 15 outfits (including sleepsuits) and I’m glad I’m getting maximum wear out of them.
7. You will lose the weight.
Your SnapBack might not be as fast or as perfect as Kate Winston’s but it will all go eventually. Eat as healthy as you can, dance now and then, walk. It will go. It will. With my first, I was so anxious. I didn’t know what to expect. I ended up buying work clothes in a new size when he was 3 months old. 4 months later, I had to slim fit those clothes. This time around, knowing that I’ll lose the weight has saved me the stress of changing my wardrobe. That said, weight loss doesn’t mean you’ll fit back in the same old clothes.
8. Babies are actually less labour-intensive than toddlers.
I didn’t notice this till my toddler started school. The house fell silent, the toys stayed in place and I was no longer overwhelmed with requests for TV, snacks, toys and attention. All the baby wanted was milk and a place to sleep! I now believe older mothers who sighed enviously at the sight of my sleeping baby in church. “Gosh,” they said, “I miss this age.” I remember thinking, “Are you crazy? You have children who can articulate their wants and needs. You have children who are sleeping through the night and who don’t need you to carry them everywhere!” But now I understand. Yes, my toddler can say what he wants. Yes, he sleeps through the night. But gosh, I cannot keep up with him. And so I’m savoring every single baby month with my 2nd. I will miss this age.
