How do I get a mentor?
It’s one of the most popular questions we get on the blog, and with good reason. Studies show that you’re more likely to meet your career goals, and avoid career-damaging moves if you have someone mentoring and showing you the way. No matter how smart you are, or how far you’ve gone in your career, a mentor provides the boost you need to hit the next level.
But how do you get a mentor? If you’re anything like me, you’re probably shy about knocking on some executive’s door to ask, “Please mentor me, pretty please.” So what else might work? Sheryl Sandberg maintains in her book, Lean In, that mentors should find you, not the other way round. But this is Nigeria and Sheryl is in the US so that advice might not apply.
There are three different strategies that have worked for me, each has their pros and cons so you might want to do a mix-and-match.
Get assigned a mentor.
If your company has a formalised mentoring program, then it’s easy to latch on to that. The program might be run by HR or by your female forum. The advantage of this method is that it removes a lot of the initial work and awkwardness of finding a mentor. The disadvantage is that you don’t have much say in who you get as your mentor. You might feel an obligation to make the relationship work, even when the chemistry between you and your mentor is off. Because it’s a formal program, you might feel pressured into sticking it out, no matter what and you won’t get much value out of it. A waste of everyone’s time.
Join a mentoring program.
Many trade organisations (the Institute of Electrical and Electronics Engineers, for instance) offer mentoring programs where they pair younger members with more experienced members in the industry. The good thing about such mentoring programs is that you usually have a chance to select from a pool of potential mentors. They usually share their profiles upfront so you can decide if you’ll be a good fit before making that commitment. The disadvantage is that this mentor is not from your organization and so if your goal is to grow in your company, this might not be the best option. If your goal is to change companies within the same industry or to grow as a technical expert in your industry, then this would be a good idea.
Read also: The 4 Types of Mentors You Need
Find a mentor.
This is the most effective way, in my opinion but it also requires the most work. First you need to identify what you want in a mentor. Do you want someone within or outside your company? What values do you want them to share with you? If you’re interested in learning to play office politics, then you don’t want a mentor who thinks office politics are beneath her. If it’s someone in your company, then how senior should the person be? Keep in mind that the more senior a person is, the less time they probably have to meet with you often and give you the guidance you need. Also, very senior staff are more suited towards being sponsors. Mentors are more hands on. Decide which career goals you want mentoring to meet. Do you want to work abroad? Do you want to lead a (bigger) team? Do you want to be given high-profile assignments?
Next, identify potential mentors. Scan your network. Share your goals and requirements with trusted colleagues and ask them for referrals. Stalk Check out potentials on LinkedIn.
When you find someone you’d like to be mentored by, package yourself. Be open about your intentions. Send her an email with your CV and career development plan (get a free template here) and ask for a 20-minute getting-to-know-you meeting. Tell her about something she did that you admire (she’ll be flattered, in a good way). The meeting can be in her office, or at the cafeteria or anywhere that works for both of you. It has to work for you too, very important. I’ve had potential mentors ask me to take up golfing because it would be near-impossible to find a slot in their calendars during office hours. My life circumstance at the moment doesn’t lend itself to frequent golf games, so I had to find other mentors. #NoPressure
In preparing for your meeting with your potential mentor, also think about what you can offer in return. Are you a PowerPoint maven? Can you help her prepare slides for her staff engagement meetings? Are you an Excel super-user? Can you put together macro-driven reports? How savvy are you with social media? Does she need it for any part of her work? Don’t think that because you’re younger, you have nothing to teach her. At the very least, you can offer honest feedback on her leadership style that she can use in improving.
It can all seem a bit daunting. It’s important to remember that it won’t happen over night. Consider committing a couple of months at least to doing the work of finding a mentor whose energy will match yours and who will give the chemistry you need to grow and flourish. In the mean time, how about some self mentoring? Buy books, subscribe to podcasts, sign up for newsletters like ours (hint-hint) and take advantage of peer-mentoring groups like the Blazers & Baby Circles. In the Circles, you get to work on your most important goals supported by women just like you who are determined to thrive in their careers and achieve that perfect work-life fit.
And in the end, that’s the goal, isn’t it?
