If you could go back in time, to your graduation, what advice would you give that twenty-something year old? I asked women at different stages of their lives and careers this question and they were gracious enough to share their thoughts.
“Do Something That Your Future Self Will Thank You For”.
- Never stop learning. Improve your skills. Get certified. Find a creative hobby you love and work at it.
- Find a good mentor and learn from that person.
- Learn as much as you can! Learn from advisors, supervisors, colleagues, social media. Every skill these days is transferable. So take time out of your day to learn something new and practice applying it so you don’t lose it. You never know when it will come in handy.
- Set short-term (next 5 years) and longer term goals for your career.
- Have a life-plan and a back up plan for that plan. Be ready to take responsibilities for the direction your life takes.
- If there are negative characteristics attributed to women around you, make sure you break those stereotypes.
- Work hard. Work weekends, work late. I’m not saying, “Don’t have a social life.” But the work you do now, the reputation you build now will stand you in good stead in latter years of your career.
What Do You Know Now About Marriage & Parenting That You Wish You Knew Before?
- Mills and Boon romantic novels are fantasies. Be realistic, strategic and tactical.
- Each relationship is different. For every “universal truth”, there is a 50% failure rate. Approach your relationship based on the characters and personalities of the involved persons. You and him.
- Marriage can actually be a bed of roses if you work hard towards it. Every child is different and unique. There is no one size fits all formula to raising children.
- Marriage is a major decision that affects every aspect of your life including your career. Make sure you marry a man that will support your goals.
- No one will love you more than you love yourself. Take care of yourself (mind and body) and get ready to learn and have your values tested.
- The best time to work on your marriage is before you have one. And don’t get hung up on if/when you’ll get married.
What do you think is the most important thing a young woman should know about money?
- Saving your money is the best risk-free investment.
- When you make your own money, you have a better appreciation of how to manage and increase it. Read “The Richest Man in Babylon” for the basics of handling money.
- Money is as important as the value you put on it. When you respect money, it will respect you.
- Money should never be the end, it is a tool. Don’t make decisions on money alone because once you have it, you realize that other “little” things matter too.
- Live below your means. It’s hard to do in this social media culture where everyone wants to show off or be better, materially, than the next girl. Do you really need those super uncomfortable red bottoms you’re only going to wear a couple of times?
- Money with no growth plans will disappear. Inflation in Nigeria is real. Save and invest in forex.
What philosophy worked for you in managing your friendships and relationships?
- Be careful who you trust.
- Everyone has their uses. Don’t expect others to treat you as you have treated them. Don’t have unrealistic expectations of how certain people should behave, we are all human.
- Take time to understand different people’s perspectives to life and various circumstances. We don’t always have to agree but we can learn to meet half way.
- No man is an island, you will always need people to help you grow. Build meaningful relationships and do away with friends that limit you with their negativity.
- Choose your friends based on values first before interests or humour.
- Let go of unspoken expectations. People are not mind readers. We know that this is scientifically impossible. But we can get a habit of setting expectations, all in our heads, then treat our friends or significant others with malice and anger when they don’t meet said unspoken expectations. I am still struggling with this one but I see a difference in my relationships as I get better at communicating my expectations.
What other advice would you give her?
- Choose your friends wisely. Do things that make you happy and have a good work life balance.
- Life happens and spoils your plans. You need to learn to rise above the hurt and shame and continue living because wallowing in those emotions may cost you more than what actually happened
- You are the best version of you. Nobody else can do that. You are unique, special, gifted and talented. Do not let anyone make you think otherwise. Just keep working hard towards being the best only you can be.
- Don’t let go of your dreams, even if your first job is not your dream job. Develop yourself to the point where people will need you to work for them.
- Read books about your interests and goals. Get various mentors. Establish your source of strength.Get to know yourself. Explore and be comfortable with yourself and your choices. Don’t be quick to label yourself. Make grand plans and don’t apologise for your dreams.
- Be flexible. You may have your career path all perfectly laid out, and you should. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with having a plan and a vision for where you want your professional future to go. However, you should allow yourself grace to change that plan, to readjust that plan, or to completely revamp it if necessary. Changing plans is not always a bad thing.
Your turn. What advice would you give your younger self?
p.s. Sharing is caring 🙂 If you liked this, please share with a young woman you know.
