As you turn 9 months, I can’t help reflecting on the past months we’ve been face to face. Is it really 39 weeks since you were placed in my arms? Has it really been that long?
Because your milestones have whizzed past so fast. I’ve barely had time to catch my breath on one before the other comes flying at me. First smile. First sitting. First bottle. First crawl. While I documented almost every moment of your older brother’s infancy, I find that I have to remind myself to document yours too. It’s too easy to be laid back, to have an attitude of “being-there-done-that”. But I haven’t been there, done that. I haven’t been your mama before.
I guess that’s the biggest lesson here. I’m learning you’re unique. You’re not like your big brother. Yes, you have your similarities. But your personality is yours. Your easy smile, your quiet laugh, your curiosity, your excitement at your brother’s play. Your refusal to take a bottle unless you’re absolutely starving! Because you’re the chairman of #boobisbest gang.
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When you were in my belly, I wondered what your personality would be like, and how you would fit in our seemingly tight unit. I worried that you would either always be in your brother’s shadow or you would be so demanding, you would dominate our family life. I shouldn’t have worried. You’ve found your place and owned it like the champ that you are. You are our sun, our light, our peace-maker. Your brother adores you; the two of you playing together, the laughing, the rough-and-tumble, (even the occasional cry) warms my soul.I can tell you adore your brother from the way your eyes dance in his presence. But your real power is in your charm. You set me at ease. Every moment I spend with you energizes me, reminds me that I can do it. Look ma, no hands.
On this milestone, I want to thank you. For introducing me to a part of myself I didn’t know before. The confident mother. When I was anxious about your brother, I’m at peace with you. When I was unsure of the choices I made with him, I’m owning the choices I make with you. I know my limits, I embrace them. With your first birthday just round the corner, I’m thankful to be your mom. Above all, I love being your mama. I hope you’re kinda rocking being my son.
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